Countdown to Tekken x Street Fighter
by Katy Rain Muhle
Summary: Always wanted to try this oneshot. What exactly happened before the Tekken X Street Fighter tournament for certain characters? This is my take on it. I promise you'll enjoy it, although it is a bit weird. Read and Review, even if you don't like it let me know, it's the only way I can improve my writing skills.


**Hello to all you Street Fighter and Tekken lovers out there. After my recent failed attempt at comedy in 'The Dating Game Show', I sought some advice from my big sister, she's crazy and funny, and she told me just go with the flow, let it be natural and all that jazz. Well, I don't know how to make people laugh with writing so I decided to just stop trying too hard and just do what I do. This fic is inspired by Getomono's 'Why it wouldn't work' fic. Enjoy...**

Asuka had just won the King of Iron Fist Tournament 5, defeating a being known as Jinpachi Mi... Mi... she couldn't remember what the thing's last name was, all she knew was that it was evil and as the nosey-ahm-heroic warrior she is known by many, she had to get involved in defeating it.

"It is an it, right?" Asuka muttered, eyeing the ashes of the defeated foe as they flowed through the breeze. That couldn't be a guy, it had a freaking mouth on its stomach; that was gross, no matter what any stupid King of Iron Fist fanboy thought.

A sound alerted her to trouble, she surveyed the area, hoping that no casualties were created by the stomach-mouth freak she destroyed, only to spot an unconscious body near rocks.

She raced to the area. The man unconscious was quite the looker, she could admit that to herself, but his safety mattered more to her then his chiselled bod.

"Hey, wake up! Can you here me, wake up!" After shaking him seemed fruitless, she looked around herself, quietly muttering possible actions - all was done without the knowledge that the person below her was slowly opening his eyes.

"Uh..." Jin said dazedly, "Where am I? Wait I -" he quickly got up, surprising Asuka and tumbling with her to the ground. He graciously landed on her twin pillows.

Asuka's face was aflame from embarrassment. She had lost her footing and she certainly knew the position she was in was anything but innocent.

Jin lingered a while longer, enjoying the soft sensation that his face found itself in. When he had enough, he slowly lifted his head and started looking around.

Asuka was staring at him wide eyed. She was sure she had heard a giggle when this man planted his face between her breasts. Perhaps she was being paranoid... Nope, he definitely giggled.

Jin looked around, confusion and a hint of fear dawning his features. This place was a disolate wasteland.

"No, I couldn't have," He whispered in horror, the pospect that this was his doing sending shivers down his spine.

"You..." Asuka said lowly, "You... You pervert!" She sent a straight punch aimed at his face.

Jin quickly stopped her punch. His face - originally holding confusion - held mischief and mirth. Looking down at her, his eyes started to glow, his form becoming darker and tattooes started to appear.

"... What?" Asuka stuttered, immensely surprised with the man's transformation.

"Oh, so you thought you could defeat me?" Jin said in a voice that did not resemble the one prior.

Asuka's eyes widened. She was starting to get scared. The man's aura held so much malice, it was so dark and foreboding.

"I will show you, girl!" Jin laughed gleefully as wings sprouted from his back.

Asuka screamed in fear when she saw the wings appear. Her scream soon turned into an incredulous stare as she felt her breasts being groped.

"I will dominate these!" Devil Jin anounced as he continued to fondle his twin prizes, "Your breasts and then the world!"

"Hey!" Asuka screamed, indignant.

"Hahaha! No one shall stop me!" Devil Jin laughed as he continued to cop a feel.

Asuka suddenly realized her arms were free from the perverts grasp... why she didn't realize it much earlier, she'll never know, but right now there was a butt that needed to be kicked.

"Let go of me, you freak!" Asuka screeched and then shot a fist, this time connecting with the man's face and sending him flying in the distance.

Devil Jin lay rigid for only a moment, but then slowly started to rise again, his body still as his feet controlled his movements, looking like he was rewinding his earlier decent.

"What the..?" Asuka looked on with surprise and confusion. That was not normal. Sure, nothing of this seemed normal, but what was happening in front of her was impossible... Really, that was what she was focusing on - the freak had wings and... were those horns?

After Devil Jin was back on his feet he raised a hand to his head... and then cracked it. He fell back to the ground with a dull thud... before quickly rising up again.

"You saw nothing," He said slowly, his face stern, trying and failing to imitate Dracula's accent.

"Well, I don't really know what I'm looking at..."

"..."

"..."

"Hahaha!" Jin suddenly started cackling maniacly.

Asuka frowned and took a fighting stance, "What's so funny."

"I slipped on a banana!" Jin said in a high pitched voice. He slowly looked around and his eyes widened, "Waoh, this aint KFC."

"KFC?!" Asuka quarelled.

"Do you have any idea how long I waited for MY HAPPY MEAL!" Jin raged, his aura turning darker, the power starting to overwhelm the area.

Asuka raised her hands to shield her face from the intense aura. She didn't know if she should say anything to the lunatic, but her mouth had other plans, "Don't you get happy meals from McDonalds?"

"NOOOOOO!" Jin screamed and then turned a menacing gaze to a bewildered Asuka, "I will destroy you! Your knockers a mine!" He flew at her with speeds and outstretched hands she could never hope to stop.

"Wah!" Asuka screamed and sat upright. Quickly shielding her boobs, she looked around, soon realizing that she was in her bedroom.

"Oh thank God," Asuka breathed. That was one of the worst dreams she had to go through. It had only been a month since the King of Iron Fist Tournament 6 had ended, with her losing by a margin to the blonde bitch that was known as Lili...

"Freaking chinese douchebag!" she fumed, remembering Feng Wei, the man that liked to slap a lot. She still couldn't believe she lost to such an opponent before... even if she did lose to him in the fifth tournament, his bitch slaps seemed to stay with her for a long time, she was sure that was the reason for the nightmares.

She did her morning routines and started walking downstairs. That's when she started hearing voices. Luckily, her parents weren't rombing around, but she would rather hear those nightmarish noises than what she was hearing now.

"Would you like some more tea, Ms. Rochefort? Asuka has a tendency to take her time."

"It's perfectly fine Mrs. Kazama. I would be delighted to wait and please call me Lili."

"Oh that's just fine, Lili. Would you like to see Asuka's baby pictures while we-"

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!" Asuka screeched as soon as she saw the familiar mop of blonde hair. She had raced the moment she knew her mother was dead set on embarrassing her, with her rival no less!

Crystal blue eyes fixed on her dusted brown, "Asuka Kazama."

"I said what are you doing here, you freak!?" Asuka questioned hotly.

"Asuka, mind yourself!" Her mother scolded.

"But mom," Asuka wined, childishly pointing a finger at her enemy, " she's a bitch."

"Asuka!" Her mother shouted, "You will apologise immediately!"

"Oh..." Asuka pouted and folded her arms, "sorry."

"All is well, Asuka, there are no hard feelings."

"I'm sorry, Lili," Asuka's mother said, "She's not good at making friends, especially with girls. In fact, if it wasn't for her breasts, most would have thought that she was one of the guys herself."

Asuka grit her teeth to remain calm. Just ignore mother. She had to get that blonde bitch out of here... then beat the crap out of her.

"Well, it was nice speaking with you mam. Are you ready to go, Asuka?" Lili called in the same accent that made Asuka want to strangle her.

"Yeah, sure," Asuka gritted out.

As soon as they left her home, Asuka was swiftly on Lili's case.

"Why the hell did you invade my home!" Asuka interrogated.

Lili remained calm and addressed as such, "I felt it interesting to visit my rival and see how she operates. Your mother is a wonderful woman by the way."

"Bitch, if you wanna fight I'll be glad to kick that ass!" Asuka retorted.

"Oh," Lili drawled with a complacent smile, "A naughty one, aren't you?"

Asuka sputtered incoherently, she did not just hear that... Did Lili just tease her?

"What's your malfunction!"

"Believe me, I'd rather be anywhere but near you, Kazama, however since today is a particularly special occassion, I had to force myself to remain calm and tolerate your presence."

Screw listening to this blonde bimbo, Asuka was going to kick some ass now!

"Let's go, right now!" Asuka commanded, dawning her fighting stance.

Lili made no move to mimic her would be opponent, saying only simple words that conveyed a deeper meaning, "Character Integration Day."

Asuka froze, her face shocked for a few seconds before her features softened and she harshly exhaled, "Crap, that's today?"

"Why yes, we were all informed of the proceedings a month prior, remember, when you lost to me in the last tournament?"

Asuka hissed in anger. Lili had always been a pain in the ass, but the Kazama-style martial artist could never remember a moment where she wanted to take a bazooka and blow the girl to a million pieces... and then shoot those very pieces with a machine gun.

"Either way, we should be meeting our counterparts any moment now."

That's when Asuka realized that they were suddenly in a coffee shop. Frantically looking around - eyes wide in disbelief - she could not help but blurt out her intrigue, "How the hell did we get here?!"

Lili ignored her and seemed to stare out a window in wonder. Her eyes soon narrowed when she obviously spotted something of interest, "They're here."

She stood up from the table that they were seated, and started strutting out the shop - a bewildered Asuka had no other alternative but to follow. As soon as she came out however, she was greeted with quite a sight.

"Hey!" a woman with thick thighs waved excitedly, "I wondered when we were gonna meet you guys."

"It's about bloody time, what took you so long anyway?" another woman said, she was shorter and directly next to the first.

"We would have been here sooner if my... companion was a little more willing," Lili said with a thoughtful look.

"Tch, reminds me of you, Chun, if you weren't so busy drooling over pictures of Ry-" the shorter woman's rant was cut short with sock shoved in her mouth.

"Stop talking!" 'Chun' shouted, eyes frantic and crazed. After a moment she quickly regain herself, as if suddenly realizing what she had been doing. "Sorry," she said and had the decency to look sheepish, "Sometimes Cammy's mouth gets out of control."

Lili nodded slowly, eyeing the pair as if the were meant to be in a mental institution.

Cammy spit out the sock from her mouth and fixed Chun with a glare, "That better not have been Bison's sock!"

"Why the hell would I have Bison's sock, he killed my father!"

"Yeah, well, he is my father! Just imagine what it's like to know that... Ew!" Cammy shuddered with a look of disgust.

"These are the people we're paired with?" Asuka asked incredulously as she caught wind of what was transpiring.

"Anyway," Chun drawled, "I think we should introduce ourselves."

"There's no need Ms. Chun Li," Lili said evenly, "You and Ms. White's endeavor to defeat Shadaloo have been perfectly documented for public digestion."

"... Wow, that actually sounded gross," Chun Li said with a scrunch of her nose, and then promptly shrugged her shoulders.

"My name is Lili Rochefort-"

"Rochefart?"

"No, Rochefort!"

Asuka snickered at the name. Oh, she was so going to use that from now one.

Lili took a deep breath, ignoring the stupid Kazama girl's snickering, she continued, albeit begrudgingly "Her name is Asuka Kazama."

"Yo," Asuka waved, her cute face heavily contrasting with her badass attitude.

"Nice to meet you both-"

"Well," Chun Li cut her friend off, "since you know us from television then I guess we don't have much to say about ourselves, and since you know me as the strongest female fighter in the world then I guess it must be pretty daunting to be in my presence, but don't worry, I'm not as intimidating as my popularity entails."

"Tch, I never heard of you," Asuka scoffed.

Everyone looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"Don't mind her," Lili supplied, "She doesn't even have a TV in her home."

"Hey, I so have a TV, Rochefart!"

Lili glared at the Japanese schoolgirl. "Stop calling me that!" she whined, stomping her feet like a toddler.

"Something tells me they don't like each other," Cammy whispered to her friend.

"I think so too. Hey guys! We're supposed to be getting to know each other before the tournament starts, so far Cammy and I are not impressed."

"Who died and made you queen, pig buns!" Asuka spat.

"Pig buns?! Why you little-"

"Okay, enough," Cammy said calmly, "We have a lot to do and fighting in the middle of the streets isn't going to help out."

"The irony of that statement is palpable," Lili said with a grin.

Cammy rolled her eyes, "Don't remind me... Why exactly did the organisers create a combination of tournaments? Better yet, why did they create a get together between opponents?"

"Beats me," Asuka shrugged, "Maybe they got greedy with all the popularity they got."

"Like those Ben 10 people?" Cammy asked, more stated.

Everyone looked at her with a questioning stare... well, Chun Li's was more of a pleading look.

"Oh I know you know what I'm talking about," Cammy defended hotly. "Ben 10 used to be bloody brilliant in the beginning. Hell, I even liked Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, but Omniverse completely ruined the entire series' respect. It's bad enough that they were pulling things out of their arses to continue it, but it just became another Naruto!"

"...Does anyone have any idea what she's spewing?" Chun Li asked numbly, getting negative shakes from her other companions. "Yeah, me neither."

"Oh, just forget it!" Cammy pouted.

"I suggest we find a proper area to get to know each other... and I suggest a change of clothes, Ms White, I'm pretty certain you'd be attracting a lot of unwanted attention with that green leotard," Lili said, bringing everyone's attention to Cammy's form of dress - she was the only one in the group who was not dressed in casual attire.

"So that's why all those men asked me to pick up that free money they 'dropped'!" Cammy squeaked suddenly in horror. Being the law abiding Delta Red operative, she had humbly accepted the gentlemen's money, finding their whistles and cat calls a bit strange but not unwelcomed, especially when she bent down...

She scowled after some thought, "Hey! It's for manoeuvrability!"

"She always says that but I bet she likes showing off that toned ass. What's the point of having it if you can't display it," Chun Li teased.

Cammy sputtered in shock, "N-No, I do not!"

"How long are we supposed to stick together?" Asuka cut in irritably.

Lili looked at her watch, "We were supposed to be together for an hour, however, thirty minutes have already passed."

"Well, just great, thirty more minutes and then I can beat your face in."

"Oh please," Lili scoffed, "You can act like a brute all you want, but I know you like me."

"I don't like you!" Asuka said, firm.

"Who knows," Lili ignored, "if you play your cards right I might just give us another chance at being a couple."

It was Asuka's turn to dawn a look of horror, "I'm not a lesbian!"

"You sure act like one," Lili countered.

"Stop!" Cammy commanded, "This is getting us nowhere. Let's just find a restaurant or something and mingle there, kay?"

The Delta Red soldier was met with nods of approval from all present.

They indeed found a restaurant, and had started conversing among each other. But as fighters, their lives were destined for twist and turns.

"So, wait, how rich is your father?" Chun Li asked, it wasn't as if she was interested, which she wasn't... Okay, she would have loved a rich life, no worries, and no troubles. What, a girl had her fantasies.

"Immensely, but I'm interested in hearing your adventures in Interpol. Have you met Lei Wulong by any chance?"

"Lei..." Chun Li just stared for a while and then her eyes lit up, "Oh, Jackie Chan guy! Yeah, he's actually really good in the job, although I think he's taking the whole drunken master thing overboard."

"Nah, I think he's cool," Cammy said with a mischievous grin, "He's the only guy I now who can rock a pink shirt."

Asuka kept to herself, finding it awkward with an alien subject.

"What about you, Asuka? You've been awfully quiet," Cammy said with a smile.

"What? Uh... I don't have much to talk about. I mean my life doesn't have all these big events," Asuka said quietly, fiddling with a fork on the table.

"I'm sure there is something there," Chun Li motivated.

"Well, I keep having this strange dream," Asuka said, suddenly uncertain if she should have said anything.

"Do tell," Chun Li purred, propping her elbows on the table and cupping her face with both hands in order to listen intently.

"Uhh... I don't know if I should," Asuka said with a frown.

"Chun and I can keep a secret and I'm sure your friend can as well."

Asuka briefly looked at Lili, the latter smiling when she noticed her stare. "It is alright, Kazama. As women we're entitled to our dirty little secrets."

"It's not dirty!" Asuka sputtered. "It's just weird."

"We're listening, Asuka," Chun Li said, failing to hide the impatience in her voice.

"... Okay... It's starts off with me winning the fifth King of Iron Fist Tournament-"

"Ha! Definitely in you dreams!" Lili cut in with a snicker, and pouted when she was met with glares, "Okay, I'll stop talking."

"...So this guy is on the ground-"

"Is he cute?" Chun Li asked excitedly.

"I guess, but that's not the point. Anyway, I try to wake him up but it doesn't work."

"Did you try kissing him?" Chun Li asked, struggling to hide her grin.

"No..."

The grin fell flat off Chun Li's face.

"He did wake up and then... put his face on my breasts!" Asuka hurriedly spoke.

Everyone gasped at her excluding Lili, the blonde dawning a look of unexplainable jealousy.

"I tried punching him but then he stopped me and wings came out of his back-"

"So he was an angel?" Cammy asked in surprise.

"I... don't think so," Asuka said, frowning at the recollection.

"But he had wings!" Cammy stressed.

"Yeah, but he talked about dominating my breasts..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... While he was feeling me up..."

"..."

"..."

"... So, he's a boob angel?" Cammy asked.

"A boob angel?" everyone repeated.

"What, he's an angel and he likes breasts, so he's a boob angel," Cammy claimed, looking quite pleased with a analysis.

"This is getting far too weird for my licking," Lili said as she shook her head. "Lucky enough for you, Kazama, it was just a dream."

"A very perverted dream," Chun Li chimed in.

Asuka blushed in anger and embarrassment, "I bet you've had those kind of dreams yourself!"

"Have you ever had a boob angel dream, Cammy?" Chun Li asked.

"No, but I wouldn't mind," Cammy said with a dreamy sigh.

"I'd rather not have such a dream. If I should have a dream of such a nature then it should be with the person I already have interest in," Lili huffed, carefully taking a discreet glance at her rival.

"Can we just change the subject please," Asuka moaned.

"Sure, I have heard of the King of Iron Fist a lot, but I only caught glimpses of it," Chun Li said thoughtfully.

"Well I never heard of your tournament," Asuka muttered.

"May I get anything for you to eat?" said a gruff feminine voice.

"Yes, I would like a-what the hell are you doing here?" Cammy screeched in anger.

"Well, unfortunately, we don't have a 'what the hell are you doing here', can I suggest you pick something else?" the woman requested boredly.

"No way, I will not accept anything from you, Juri Han!" Cammy shouted as she lunged for the woman.

Juri easily dodged. She looked down at the sprawled blonde woman on the floor with a frown, "Look, I'm on my break from fighting, I'll kick your ass in the combined tournament, in a few weeks."

"You will pay for what you did to my sisters!" Cammy screamed as she stared at her most hated enemy.

"Cammy, calm down! We can't cause trouble in public," Chun Li admonished.

Cammy glared with rage at the Feng Sui Engine wielder, and then huffed while proceeding to join her best friend on the table.

"So," Juri drawled, "What can I get ya?"

"How do we know it won't be poisoned?" Chun Li demanded.

"And lose my pay? Give me little more credit , China doll, why don't ya?" Juri said, brows furrowed.

"If it's all good, I'll have a burger," Asuka said.

"A salad, thank you," Lili said.

"... I'll have a salad too," Chun Li said, her serious demeanor not leaving her face.

"How about I give you a knuckle sandwitch!" Cammy shouted, being restrained before she could punch the petite Korean.

"I'll pass," Juri softly said, "Your orders will be here in a few minutes." And with that she left.

"I can't believe that bitch is here!" Cammy fumed.

"I take it you guys aren't friends," Lili observed.

"Hell no!" Cammy and Chun Li stated spitefully.

Juri soon came with their food.

"One burger, two salads... and a knuckle sandwitch for kitty," she quickly dodged Cammy's punch and smiled at the group, "Enjoy..."

Asuka waisted no time and dug into her meal, grunting on occassion when her taste buds were met with pleasure.

"Really Asuka, you're not giving me a good impression of you," Lili scolded.

"Hvwt dwu hm mcha!" Asuka said with a mouthful of food.

"Excuse me?" Lili asked with a raised eye brow.

Gulping down the burger, Asuka reiterated her muffled reply, "What do I care!"

"Well I for one prefer my partner to show proper manners around me. I don't go for those slobbish types."

"I'm not a freaking lesbian!"

"Huh, so is that why I caught you checking me out when you thought I wasn't looking?"

"What?!"

"You don't have to stay in the closet around us, Asuka," Cammy supported, "we don't judge, right Chun?"

"Yeah," Chun Li chirped, "You should have told us that you guys were a couple with a rocky start. It happens all the time, don't worry though, you'll figure it out-"

"What the hell?!" Asuka screeched, apologising profusely when other customers shushed her. Turning her disbelieving gaze on the table's occupants, "What's wrong with you people?"

Juri returned soon after. Looking at the fighter's before she started, "Did you enjoy your meal?"

"Yes, compliments to the chef, it was absolutely divine." Lili smacked her lips and trembled in pleasure.

"I guess the salad was okay."

"I liked the burger."

"Screw you, sister steeler!"

"Good to know," Juri muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear. Cupping a hand around her mouth, she shouted in another direction, "Hey, Bison, they liked your food!"

"What?!" Cammy and Chun Li screamed in unison.

"My psycho powers know no bounds," Bison smiled maniacly from the kitchen window.

"He made food with psycho powers?!" Chun Li sputtered in shock and awe.

"... No, I think he meant that he really is psycho," Juri said.

"What is he doing here anyway?!" Cammy demanded.

Juri shrugged, "What can I say, guy likes to cook." Looking around, she spotted something that made her frown, "Hey Seth, table number nine hasn't gotten their order yet!"

The moment Chun Li and Cammy's eyes met, they came to an agreement.

It was time for all hell to break loose.

Cammy went for Juri and Chun Li dashed after Bison. Soon cutlery, dishes and tables started flying everywhere, along with a few people, some adults even screaming "Mommy!"

Lili and Asuka sat in silence, that was until Lili's watch started ringing.

"Our time is up," Lili said, a bit relieved at the revelation.

"Should we help them?" Asuka asked, watching the double match in awe.

"...You kidding me? I'm outta here," Lili said and started leaving.

"You killed my father!" Chun Li screamed as she fought with Bison, using her strong scary thighs to increase her kick's potency. Chinese music started playing in the background.

"...Yep," Asuka said with a straight face, "I'm outta here too."

Soon after the two Tekken fighter's left, the restaurant blew up with a loud "K.O!" proclaimation coming from everywhere and nowhere.


End file.
